Phoenix Heart: Episode Two: Secret Keeper Read online

  “She can’t,” he said simply. “Those who survived will be finding reinforcements. They’ll be back. Maybe even tonight. I can hold them off when I’m well and strong, but I used up a lot of my strength last night and I’m not healed. I won’t be able to keep them off of us forever.”

  “Then Sersha will,” my aunt said, her voice even pricklier as if she could discourage conversation with it. “She surprised us all with that display last night, but she’s always been a good girl. She’ll be loyal to her family and her town.”

  “Sersha is still learning,” Judicus said, shooting a look my way. Had he heard my name before this? I wasn’t sure. But I was glad he knew it now. “She won’t be able to hold them off forever, either. Especially now that the element of surprise has been lost. We need to leave. Tonight, or tomorrow morning.”

  “If you can’t keep them safe in a nice stone inn, then you can’t keep them safe out on the road,” my aunt Danna said in a sing-song voice. I took a step back. I’d learned to fear that voice. There was no coming back from that voice.

  “I don’t think you understand,” Judicus began.

  I tugged his arm. If he thought raiders were dangerous, he had no idea how bad Aunt Danna could be when she used the sing-song voice.

  “Mally.” Aunt Danna said, hammering her words out like Tyndale hammered iron. “Is marrying Tyndale. She is staying here. She will have children. She will live a long and happy life. And we will protect her.”

  And then she turned her back as if that was all there was to the discussion.

  I caught a side glance from Mally. Her chin jutted out and her arms were crossed. And despite the fact that her eyes stayed almost entirely on Aunt Danna, I was pretty sure she planned to go with us. Judicus didn’t need to convince Aunt Danna – not when Mally’s mind was made up.

  I tugged Judicus back to our room and laid him down on Mally’s bed and started to brew tea. He sank back gratefully, gasping as I offered the tea and checked his bandages. He was bleeding again. All that walking and talking had been too much effort. I shook my head at him and pointed to his wound.

  “I know,” he said, his eyes fluttering shut. “I’m in bad shape. But we can’t stay here.”

  I nodded my understanding.

  “Do you think she’ll come with us if we can slip her out from under her mother’s nose?” he asked me.

  I nodded and then tried to indicate with gestures that he had no horse. It took a while to make him understand.

  “Veela and I came on one, but yes, I don’t think it’s here anymore,” he agreed. “That’s okay. I planned to take a boat from among those the raiders brought here. Do you think you can gather supplies? Blankets? Herbs for pain? Maybe a kettle?”

  He looked at me helplessly as I nodded. Veela must have been the practical one. If we were going to set out in a boat, we’d need so much more than blankets and herbs. And I was going to have my work cut out for me gathering it all under Aunt Danna’s nose.

  I bathed his head with a cool cloth and then slipped from his room when he dozed off to sleep. Would he survive a boat ride? It would probably be gentler than riding a horse, but if we hit rough seas, they would still jostle him. And any jostling might aggravate his wound.

  Worry curled in my chest. We had raiders to worry about. And an uncertain future. His wound complicated both those things.

  I was still frowning in thought when I closed the door behind me and turned right into Aunt Danna, standing with her arms crossed over her chest.

  “Well, Sersha,” she said with a quirked eyebrow. “You aren’t planning to leave us just yet, are you?”

  I shook my head no and she seemed to soften.

  “But you are going to leave?”

  I agreed and she nodded, her eyes narrowing. “That’s probably for the best. A lot has happened in these past days and I think it’s best for everyone if you head along your way.”

  I wasn’t going to get an apology from her for offering me up as a sacrificial lamb. That was for sure.

  I thought I might be willing to forgive her anyway. Especially now as I looked into her uncertain eyes. She was trying to disguise the look in them with bold words and bluster, but there was fear underneath. We took care of our family. She’d taken care of me when my parents died. Was she afraid I wouldn’t do my part now? That I would put them in danger?

  “I’ll make a deal with you, Sersha,” she said grimly. “I’ll help you gather all the supplies you need as long as you promise me, you’ll take that boy and leave here tomorrow morning.”

  I nodded fervently.

  “And that you’ll leave Mally behind,” she said, her voice hard as iron. “If he wants someone to be called ai’sletta and go far away with him it can be you. No one will know the difference anyway.”

  I hesitated.

  Her face darkened with fury. “At least promise me that you won’t try to convince her to come with you. Promise me you’ll leave her to my advice and counsel.

  That I could do. I nodded my agreement.

  But I doubted Judicus could be convinced of that. I was his secret keeper, but for some reason I couldn’t fathom, Mally meant more than that to him. She meant enough to come up here and risk his life for. Being voiceless, I was spared having to tell my aunt what she should have already known – that nothing would be the same in Landsfall ever again.

  Chapter Four

  I didn’t have time to tell Judicus what was happening, and I wasn’t sure how I would even if I’d had the opportunity. It would be a while until he learned my signs well enough to communicate larger ideas with me.

  Judicus slept the day away – and no wonder. That wound he’d suffered would take time and energy to heal and I didn’t know what cost he paid for the magic he used defending our town.

  I checked on him twice during the day in between taking a nap and gathering what things Aunt Danna said I could take with me. She wasn’t stingy. She allowed for two wheels of cheese and dried meat wrapped in oilcloth, road rations of fat and dried berries, two waterskins, two blankets, fire-starting equipment, a pot – all the basics. Even so, once they were packed into four leather bags, they seemed a meager thing to take of the life I’d had. I stood awkwardly over them, one hand clutching the other arm when the sun dipped low and Kazmerev was born again in my heart.

  My relief at seeing him again was enough to almost send me to my knees. Bright feathers bloomed from the darkness, blushing scarlet from his plum body and then slowly ripening to burnished gold at the tips of his feathers. He felt like warmth in my heart.

  I’m very happy to see you, too. I feel ... fresh and new in your service.

  I stumbled out of the stables where the bags were stashed to find him in the quiet outside the places of people. All the villagers were inside the inn again. No one could shake the feeling that the raiders might return at any time. No one wanted to go home yet – not when that might be deadly.

  A guard had been posted on the inn roof – but he wasn’t looking in the courtyard. I stole out not the silky night, careful not to walk toward the finished graves, but in the other direction, inland.

  Was Kazmerev unhurt? He’d had to leave so suddenly last night. I reached carefully for him and he ducked his head so I could touch the silky feathers there.

  I am reborn safe and sound. Don’t fear for me. He sounded cautious. I followed the raiders who fled, watching to see where they went. They were regrouping south of here. They will come back to this town. He paused again. He must be afraid to bring this up after I was so set to defend my town last time. The best thing for your people is for us to leave.

  So everyone kept telling me.

  And Judicus? Will he come with us?

  Yes. We were still a part of his coterie.

  Kazmerev seemed pleased. He tossed his head and little sparks flickered off with the scent of woodsmoke.

  Then go get him. It’s time.

  But we were leaving in the morning. It was planned.

  W
e travel at night. It’s safer, and I can guard you from above. In the day, how will I watch your back, little hawk? You are as one newly fledged and with no voice of your own. You shouldn’t travel when I cannot watch you. And the sooner we set out the further we can travel before I die the phoenix death once more.

  I felt torn. He made perfect sense, but I’d also promised Aunt Danna we’d leave in the morning. I hadn’t said goodbye. I hadn’t slept except in tiny snatches in three days. I wasn’t ready to travel. I was ready to sleep.

  I understand. Everyone is cranky without sleep – not that I would know. I am either dead or alive. There is no in-between. He sounded angry.

  I felt my cheeks growing hot.

  No, no need for embarrassment. You can’t be expected to remember little details like when I’m alive or when I’m dead. You can sleep now. Here. I will wake you when the night is half full and you can go rouse Judicus then.

  He was angry. And I didn’t know what to do about it. I was just trying to make everyone happy.

  You can’t make everyone happy. Pick a person. Make that person happy. The rest will have to live with disappointment.

  He clearly meant he wanted me to pick him. I was about to explain that things weren’t that simple when a lantern light bobbed out of the darkness and Mally seized me by the back of the neck.

  “If you think you’re leaving without me you can think again,” she hissed.

  I held up my hands to placate her.

  “I’m the ai’sletta that the rope worker was looking for.” She tossed her curls as if she wanted me to know how confident she was, but I saw the gleam of worry in her eye.

  This is the ai’sletta of prophecy? I wasn’t sure if Kazmerev sounded more awed or more offended.

  I didn’t know any prophecies, but I knew Mally. She didn’t like being excluded. And she could be vicious if she thought you were trying to take something of hers.

  With my hands, I asked her about Tyndale.

  She rolled her eyes. “There are other men. Maybe I’ll even come back for him. Who knows?”

  I gave her a worried look.

  “Don’t judge, Sersha. If he really loves me, he can wait. He’s not the one the raiders are looking for.”

  And that was why she was coming with us. I saw the glint of fear in her eye. Sometimes with Mally, you have to listen for all the things she isn’t saying.

  “I’m going to wake the rope worker,” she said calmly, pinching my arm. I batted her hand away. “You go get the bags and meet us at the docks. We’re taking a boat.”

  She was gone without waiting to see if I agreed or not.

  That is the ai’sletta of prophecy? That pinching gull?

  I almost laughed at his thoughts. A gull. That was too mild of a word. Mally could be quite cunning.

  Hmm. But if she harms you, she’ll find I do more than singe her edges. I’m angry – angry all the time when I think of Veela and how she died. I wouldn’t mind burning something.

  She wouldn’t harm me. And Kazmerev had better not burn her. Mally would just make my life a misery. I tried not to think about that as I gathered the bags of what Aunt Danna had let me take. There would be no goodbyes. And there would be no sleep.

  I peeked out of the stables and looked longingly around the town. Landsfall was the only place I remembered living. I knew every nook of the place. And now I was going to leave in the night without a goodbye. It felt like running out on a friend.

  Listen. Let your heart feel mine.

  I paused outside the stable and let my eyes drift to him standing on the thatched roof, his glorious fire caressing every feather and gleaming in his bright, knowing eyes. The eye on the side nearest me looked right down into my eyes.

  I will not leave you. I will not abandon you. You will never need to say goodbye to me.

  My eyes pricked with tears as his words turned lighter.

  And as for the ai’sletta – if she pinches you again, I will peck her toes. He seemed irritated. Even if it lowers me to her level, and I never thought I’d sink that low.

  I nodded my head, grateful, and adjusted the bags hanging from my shoulders. They were heavy and I was not ready for this.

  We’re never ready for adventures, Sersha. But sometimes they are just what we need.

  Adventures, it seemed, were very uncomfortable.

  Chapter Five

  By the time I had gathered our bags and worked my way out to the docks, Mally was already there dragging a reluctant Judicus with her.

  “If we don’t leave now, I’m not going at all,” she said, her jaw set and determined. She was exactly like Aunt Danna when she wanted to be.

  “Look, surely we can be reasonable about this,” Judicus was saying, his hands held up as if he could ward her off. “We do need to leave, but we can wait until the morning. You can say your goodbyes to your family and your friends. You might not see them for a very long time. Isn’t that a good reason to wait?”

  “It’s a good reason to go,” Mally said, looking over her shoulder s if she could already see Aunt Danna striding after her. “Before they find a way to tie me to this town and I never get to leave.”

  “We will need some supplies,” Judicus protested. “We can’t eat hopes or drink dreams.”

  “Sersha has all the supplies we need, don’t you, Sersha?” Mally asked as she searched through the boats tied to the docks. Some were fisherman’s boats – left here when the fishermen fled to the inn during the raid. Some were foreign – boats of raiders that they couldn’t afford to crew when they fled here missing so many of their number. She hurried along the docks testing one after another. Most were damaged – whether intentionally or accidentally – from the chaos before.

  I held up the leather bags awkwardly and tried to will Kazmerev to be seen so Judicus could see we were both there. He looked relieved.

  “It’s good to see you both,” he said, running a nervous hand through his hair.

  He looks ill. I think I agree with him. You should wait for him to rest more.

  “I must admit, I’m barely keeping to my feet,” Judicus said, as if telling me a great secret. “And I could really use another night of sleep, but your cousin might be right. Maybe now is the best time to –”

  “This one,” Mally called from beside a small fishing sloop. It had two sets of oars and a single mast with a sail. It didn’t have water in the hull – an improvement on the others – and the sail was rolled neatly which suggested the owner took good care of it, but it wasn’t a raider boat. Taking it would be stealing. “Don’t look at me like that, Sersha. It’s not stealing. Tyndale will pay the fisherman if he’s still alive.”

  Tyndale. Who she was abandoning. Was he supposed to sit here and pine for her and pay her debts? Or did she expect him to marry someone else and still pay for a boat?

  I shook my head, crossing my arms over my chest.

  I also do not approve of theft. I will not endorse it. Kazmerev sounded put out. He ruffled his feathers irritably, his eye never leaving Mally.

  “Can you swim, rope worker? Sersha and I can, though I’m much faster,” Mally said blithely. “Not that I think we’ll have to, but if a disaster strikes it would be good to know.”

  “Of course, I can swim,” Judicus said absently.

  “Not everyone can.”

  “Can Kazmerev see any raiders nearby?” Judicus asked me nervously. It was a good question and I nearly sighed with relief.

  Could he go check? It might simplify things down here.

  I’ll look.

  Kazmerev leapt into the sky and my heart made a little lurch. I wanted to fly up there with him away from ground quarrels that might lead to a stolen boat and the way my belly was rolling and flopping at the idea of running from Landsfall in the middle of the night.

  You will again, I swear it. We’ll fly together.

  He made a wide circle, looking in every direction.

  I’ll put you on my shoulders tomorrow and fly you as far and wid
e as you want to go – but I think that if you want to travel with Judicus you might need to stay with him. He is barely standing. He needs a groundling to help him walk.

  He was right. When I looked at Judicus he was swaying on his feet. He wasn’t well enough for much more standing. With care, I took his hand and led him into the boat to the prow. Mally was checking the oars and making sure her bags were in a good place.

  I took Judicus’ bag gently from him and put it in the hull so he could rest against it.

  “Thank you,” he said softly. There was pain in that voice.

  “No rest for him. He needs to row. There’s no wind,” Mally announced.

  I shook my head at her and positioned myself at the first set of oars, staring at them grimly. I couldn’t row well with my arm injured but I wasn’t sure what else to do. She was going to get our ally killed and then she really would be trapped here.

  She rolled her eyes. “Sersha, always the martyr.”

  “Sersha?” Judicus asked faintly. I glanced over my shoulder at him. “Does Kazmerev see anything?”

  Tell him I see fires down the shore but now for a few hours by boat. Nothing inland but the town. Nothing north. Is the next town north very far?

  I wasn’t sure there was a next town north. Our supplies came from the south or inland.

  There should be more north of here.

  But I also couldn’t tell Judicus all of that. I tried to sign to Mally and she snorted. “I’m busy getting ready to sail, Sersha, and you know that if my mother notices we’re gone she won’t let me go, so stop trying to distract me. We can chat later.”

  I had not realized how I would partake in your voicelessness. Veela was my voice to other humans.

  I feel my cheeks flare red. I’d dragged him into this with me. It wasn’t fair. And then suddenly he was there, landing whisper-soft on the gunwale of the boat and leaning in so that his huge head brushes cheek to cheek with mine.

  I am pleased to share this with you. I am pleased to join you in it.

  He gently butted his feathered head against me.

  I was stunned.